Parents Talk: Living Together After Divorce
Due to finances and shared resources, some divorced parents continue to live together. What would you do?
Divorce happens. A lot.
Statistics tell us that the rate remains steady at around 50 percent of American marriages ending in divorce.
We are accustomed to the “I-hate-you-I’m-moving-out-now” divorce. Then the stereotypical court battle to win the kids, the house, the money and the wedding China that has never been opened ensues.
While not a new idea, more and more divorced or separated couples are choosing to remain living together, usually due to finances. Divorced couples generally share a house, home furnishings, vehicles, and most importantly, children. Maybe it's just easier to stay together, for now.
Are cohabitating ex-wed parents the new cohabitating un-wed parents?
A writer going by “rebootingnow” on the web forum Talk About Marriage illustrates this idea:
“My wife and I have mutually decided that we don't want to work on our marriage relationship anymore. We don't have a toxic relationship, but after 10 years of a stressful marriage there isn't really an “us” anymore outside of our two elementary aged children.
Since we can't afford to live separately right now, we're planning on living together with the children. For many years I have slept in a different bedroom for various reasons, and we've never fought in front of the children. From their perspective things haven't changed.
My general plan is we'd cohabitate until we're in a better position financially to have two separate dwellings…”
Jacqueline Harounian, a partner and divorce attorney with the Law Firm of Wisselman, Harounian & Associates in Long Island writes in a Huffington Post blog that she sees this happen all the time.
Divorced but stuck together? Yes, she says.
"The current economy and housing market have led to the unthinkable reality of separated and divorced couples living together for months or even years, because they cannot afford to pay the bills on two separate households, or sell their home, or refinance to effectuate a buyout," Harounian writes.
She adds that like it or not, in this stagnant real estate market and economy, being roommates with your ex is a trend that is here to stay.