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Parents Talk: A Child In Pain

When your little one is uncomfortable, and you can't figure out why, what's a parent to do...especially a new parent?

 

Two things happened in our house over the last 24 hours. My 6-month-old spent a few hours screaming in pain while visiting Nana and PapPap tried to comfort her. And I developed a nasty ear ache—something I don't think I've had since the fifth grade.

When it came to me, I took some sinus medicine and spent a few hours resting my head on an ice pack. And this morning I'm feeling much better.

My daughter, who's had tummy issues the last few months, is doing better, too, thought I'm not sure why. Yesterday we tried just about everything we could think of to make her feel more comfortable: we gave her a warm bath, we rubbed her tummy, we gave her cold teething rings, we held her and walked around with her, and finally we called the nurse—who didn't have anything new to add to our efforts.

The problem is that we really didn't know what was wrong with our child. She hasn't even said her first word. We can tell by the way she cries whether she's hungry, tired or uncomfortable, but uncomfortable is a big category.

I never knew how hard it would be to watch my daughter sob tears while she held me tightly, as if begging me to fix whatever was wrong. It's so hard to stay in control and soothe her when I just want to say, "What's wrong? What can I do?"

The nurse told us she could be constipated, teething, having a growth spurt, all of those, or none of those. And as my ear throbbed, I wondered how I'd know if she had something like an ear ache.

My husband and I agreed—not knowing how to comfort our child is one of the most difficult apects of parenting we've faced in our six months at the job.

So here are a few question to other parents or caregivers out there. What do you do when your child is in pain and you don't know how to comfort him/her? Can you relate to the helplessness you feel holding a child when she or he is clearly miserable? What advice would you give to people like me—a new parent going through this for the first time?

  • Where's the first place you turn when you've got a sick child?

    (Voting has been closed for this question)
    • A) My significant other
        7 (18%)
    • B) My mom or dad
        5 (13%)
    • C) The nurse or doctor
        15 (39%)
    • D) The internet
        10 (26%)
    • E) Somewhere else; I'll tell you in the comment section
        1 (2%)
    Total votes: 38
  • This is not a scientific poll. View Results Vote!
About this column: Local moms and dads give their take on current issues affecting their family and yours. We encourage you to take part in the discussion. Related Topics: Ear ache, Parental advice, Parents Talk, and sick child

Joanie Kopp Sauer

10:23 am on Thursday, December 29, 2011

I had a colicky 1st child - my mom was no help, she never had a colicky child - when I saw this gal Priscilla Dunstan on Oprah, it helped a ton! Try looking up Dunstan Baby Language on the internet, there are some great U tube videos which feature the 5 different ways a baby cries as well as some ways to soothe a baby who is in pain.

Reply

Morgan Binnie DC

10:49 am on Friday, December 30, 2011

I would agree with Joanie. Dunstan baby language is a great way to learn the sounds and crys of your new little one. For my first stop, what I have learned and found extremely helpful is turning to my local Chiropractor. What the Chiropractor will do is check your baby's spine. They check the spine to see if additional pressure is affecting the nervous system. If there is pressure, many side effects from this can include constipation, pain in the head or ears, or while feeding the baby's head may be in a position causing discomfort or pain for baby. The only thing an infant can do is cry to let you know something is going on. As you have mentioned before, an infant has not spoken the first words yet. Rest assured the movements a Chiropractor performs for the infant or child are very gentle and effective!!

Reply

Kevin O'Donovan

7:02 pm on Friday, December 30, 2011

Mary is right, nothing tears at your heart as much as seeing your child in pain. I know that not everyone can afford it, but I think that a stay at home mother is so very important. She will know that child better than anyone. The slightest changes are noticed, and rarely is anything overlooked. Having both parents residing at home provides the necessary respite and support. Like someone said,"A man may be the head of the household, but a woman is its neck,its heart, and its soul". Grandparents can be such a blessing.Clinton was wrong when she said,"It takes a village to raise a child". It takes a family to raise a child, and most villages she referred to were actually extended families, multi-generational, close knit families. She just didn't seem to notice.

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